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I'm Best Known For Failure But At Least I'm Known For Something

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Thursday, June 10th, 2004
6:16 pm - Opening Up In My Hour Of Weakness.........
I'm not even sure who reads this anymore, I guess I'll just start writing whatever I want, if you read it, good for you, if you don't, no one gets hurt. I got my cable internet connected today, so I am finally back online. I kind of realised while I was offline though, just how much I really don't need the internet. Sure for the first few days/week I was going insane but the only real thing I missed was talking to my friends everyday. Other than that the internet is rather superficial when you think about it, if you don't want to think about it thats ok too.

I'm sick. Very sick. I don't know whats wrong, all I know is, its getting worse. I've been having constant headaches since August of last year. It's been almost a year. I can't believe that. I've been going to a neurologist, a great one. Unfortunately my status hasn't really given him much credit because I am only getting worse. I am sick pretty much everyday of my life now. I hide it well. I don't want people to worry. I go to work sick, because I have too. I go out sick, because I want too. I am not going to shut myself off from the world. People tell me to sleep, I can't sleep. People tell me to eat, I can't eat. Anything I eat I bring back up. I'm dizzy almost all the time. My eyes are always blurry. I'm tired, I'm pale, I look terrible.

I'm scared

-Sarah

current mood: scared

(feel my pain)

Wednesday, June 2nd, 2004
7:40 pm - At Least Im Known For Something.......
I havent updated in a long time and Im sorry. I havent had a computer and still dont have cable net, not until next friday. I wonder if anyone still reads this? Well theres really not all that much to update on. Ive been working, hanging out with friends, and being a bum. I'm not in the writing mood right now, but I just wanted to let you all know(if there is anyone out there) that im still alive. Ill update again when I get cable...

Stay Cool

-Sarah

current mood: nostalgic

(feel my pain)

Saturday, April 24th, 2004
2:17 pm - It's All Downhill From Here.........
I feel like I haven't been home in a long time. I am very sorry for the lack of update I realise how stressed some of you must be because I haven't updated my journal which is your only source of life. I do apologise.

Well maybe the reason I haven't been updating is because I feel as if I have nothing to update you on. My life feels like one big boring cycle right now. I work, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays, and go out on the weekend and the days I have off. That's all.

Luckily however, I have a better imagination than that and think more therefore I do have more to say than just that, so for all of you who's eyes were filling with tears as I finished that senetence in the last paragraph, do not fret as there is more to come.

Next month I have to make an appointment to see the counscellor at TAFE and the teachers of the course I am enrolling in so that they can check me out, and see if I am infact capable of only completeing half the TPC and therefore hopefully obtaining the marks I need and enrolling in UNI next year. I shall be majoring in Literature and I can't wait. I have missed studying literature so much, god dam it Cleody look what you've done to me. My english teacher Mr Macleod Jones,(Cleody) was the first person to really instill in me my love of literature. I had been reading ever since I could, but Cleody made me see the much deeper level of literature, firstly when I was in year 8. He showed me how to analyse different forms of literature to see their true meaning that is not always obvious at first. He is my inspiration to become an english teacher, he cried when I told him that.

Allister is going to try to come down for a weekend very soon. We've both had a lot going on in our lives lately and realised that there would be nothing better for the both of us if we could see each other. If he's not able to come down anytime soon, Im going to go up there. I could fly up Friday night and home Monday. I am, though, going up there at the end of the year to stay for probably about a week. Check out his house, and meet all his friends, have a blast. I really wish he was here though.

There's been some drama around lately...I don't wish to go into much detail but things haven't been easy, for a lot of people. I hope everything eases up and smoothes out very soon, this awkwardness, and feeling uncomfortable sucks.

Stay Cool

-Sarah

current mood: uncomfortable

(feel my pain)

Tuesday, April 6th, 2004
10:22 pm - The Early....
And another....

To be out there, when the sun first comes, when the light's low and silvery and magic, to be drifting and moving amongst it when the swell's sweeping in and the sun's seeping thick over the blue edge of the ocean, is to be in nirvana. It makes your heart sing. To be streaming across a wall and see the light of the sunrise through its glassy texture, to push through a wave and feel its wet crashing brightness enclose you, it makes you delirious, it makes you high. It's the maddest, wildest, sweetest thing I've ever experienced. You end up drugged with it. You can't live without it. To take off on a four-foot set at Catherine Hill Bay in the first flowing light of sunrise in summer, and drop down into a surging barrelling line, with water spinning like crystal around you, and the air soft and sweet like a kiss against your skin, and the tide most of the way out so it's bowling so hard and clean over the bank you're only just making it all the way, only just hanging in there by an edge and charging so fast and nearly out of control all down the line with the lip crashing into your head.

That's it, that's the thing that I can't begin to explain what it does to you, how it works you over. That's the thing that leaves you speechless, and leaves you with this feeling of freedom and almost spiritually high for the rest of the day. It gets into your blood, it flows through you, and it never fades until you finally get to sleep that night.

-Sarah

current mood: pessimistic

(feel my pain)

10:21 pm - Impressions........
Another piece of writing I did.....

Life is like an ocean,
Large and undiscovered,
Often threatened by larger
Or different species,
When danger approaches,
A flurry of madness is followed,
And all that is left is a glimpse of a tail
Or a ripple of evidence that life did exist.


I found that poem and it made me think, about my life and other peoples lives. Is it true that once your gone, your memory begins to fade and in the end all thats left is a few ripples, to show that there ever was an existence? If I died tomorrow I wonder how long it would take for my memory to fade, weeks? months? years? Would it ever completely fade? Or would there be someone willing to remember forever?

I dont want that to happen. People shouldnt die and be forgotten. Their memory should be remembered forever at least by one person who loved them, or even someone who didnt love them, but perhaps admired them, even someone that hated them. Id hate to think that when you die its just a matter of time before even the ripple fades. I hope that everyone leaves their mark on the world, or at least on someone living in this world.

To go and not leave an impression would be the saddest thing. Knowing that once your gone, people may learn from your mistakes, and learn from your experiences helps you get by in this world we have to live in, it helps me deal with the life I have to live. If I can go knowing that I changed at least one persons life, for the better, I will be happy. It is only one simple word...change, yet to change someones life, to see them happy because of something youve done, and to know that you have left an everlasting impression on them, is one of the greatest feelings of satisfaction in the world.

I can only hope that when it is my time, I will know that there is someone out there who's life I changed, forever.

-Sarah

current mood: pessimistic

(3 teardrops | feel my pain)

10:17 pm - End Is Forever........
I wrote this whilst still at school obviously...

14 weeks to go. 14 weeks, can you believe it? Yr 11 and Yr 12 have gone so fast, I thought yr 10 went fast but that was nothing compared to these past 2 years. In 14 weeks I graduate, I have my muck up day, I have 4 weeks to study before the biggest test of my life so far(theoretical test that is). 9 days of the HSC then Im done. 28th of October I walk out of the school grounds for the last time as a yr 12 student, as a student of Doonside High. Leaving behind me, friends, 6 years of hard work, teachers, role models, my captaincy, and the security of school.

Im scared.

Not only of what the world is going to throw at me, but also of what it might take from me.

Im excited.

Not only are the experiences that are waiting for me scaring the crap out of me but they are also going to be amazing, unforgettable and no doubt some of the best times of my life.

Behind me however I leave also some of the best times of my life, but with those times I refuse to leave those people, those people that have made these past 6 years the best times of my life, and in particular these past 2 years. Those people that have made these past 2 years bearable, those people that have helped me become the person I am today, a person who I have not always been, but am happy to be now.

Im worried.

Im worried that my life is not going to turn out the way I want it too. Im worried that I will not achieve everything I have always wanted. Im worried that I will lose some of the most important people in my life.

Im sad.

Im sad that I have to leave this chapter behind me, the security, the happiness, the laughter, just the amazing times, the amazing people, the amazing experiences, the fun.

No matter what I do though, its going to come, its going to be sad, its going to be hard, but I dont have a choice.

-Sarah

current mood: pessimistic

(feel my pain)

Saturday, March 27th, 2004
8:48 pm - I'm Not Going To Look Back..........
Lets see what comes out if I just start typing and don't actually think about what I say.

Im talking to Kehani, Steven kind of, Greg and Mel right now. Not much conversation happening with any of them except Kehani who Im talking about going to TAFE with. Talking about how Im not going to have any friends because Im shy and have no confidence when it comes to things like that. Im going to be that girl who always listens to music and you kind of want to talk too just because she never says anything, but you never actually get around to it, so you just kind of look at her sometimes, wondering what song shes listening to and wondering why she seems so content in her own company or if that look in her eyes really does mean anything, wondering what shes always drawing and writing in that art book she takes everywhere, wondering what he name is, Sheryl, Sam, Sherly, something like that, you heard the teacher ask her once, but you cant quite remember because shes never really done anything out of the ordinary, except not spoken which in itself is kind of out of the ordinary. You wonder what high school she went too, and if she had any friends there, if she can speak at all, maybe shes a mute. She cant be deaf because shes always listening to that damn discman. You turn to your friend and ask them if theyeve ever spoken to her, or ever even heard her talk, you ask them whats her deal? They say they dont know, but they heard she was from Doonside and saw her talking to some guy before, some guy that theyve seen in a computers class. You turn back to look at her, shes still sitting there, listening to her discman, but her eyes are open, shes not mouthing the words, shes not even moving just looking off in another direction, but something tells you she knows your looking at her, you get up to walk away, take one last look at her, then go, thinking, you'll talk to her, one day.

-Sarah

current mood: mellow

(8 teardrops | feel my pain)

Sunday, February 29th, 2004
9:50 pm - Road Signs And Rock Songs........
Longtime no update, Im really sorry, but all last week, not the week just been, the week before that I was in Coffs Harbour. It was awesome, great to get away for awhile. Nice place we stayed at too, beach just down the road, beautiful weather and a lot of bodyboarding done by me.

Anyway, lastnight I went to Dashboard Confessional, my ticket which was a gift from Brianna and Zen for my 18th birthday. It was awesome, I went with Cameron, Brianna, Zen, Melina, and Ryan. Me and Cameron were going absolutely nuts on the way there, and I ended up hurting my ankle and my wrist at Melina's before we left...yeh I know what a dickhead ay? Anyway the ride there and home is always one of the best parts of going to a gig because everyone is always so amped. I think Melina thinks me and Cammo are crazy...which we were so yeh she is justified.

Ive gotta help out a friend, Ill finish this later...


Its now about 2 hours later, let me continue, yeh so I had an awesome time lastnight, Dashboard were amazing..loved it. Thanks again Brianna and Zen for the ticket.

Ive been writing and drawing a lot lately, Im talking 3 times a day, if not more. I dont know why, I guess Im just in the mood for that...Ive been thinking a lot, and I think Ive finally grown up and realised that I have to face my responsibilities, I think I got a job at Gareth's work, a pet store, and I have to work 9 hours on Tuesday, but thats ok, because its my responsibility, and I will do it. Im going to enroll in Tafe second semester in a link course so I can go to UNI and study to become an english teacher, I know this is what I want to do now, I want to study Literature, I miss it, and I want to learn, Im going to do this, and Im determined not to let my fucked up family life and parents stand in the way of what I really want. Im going to handle my life now, and get on track to my future and my ticket out of this living hell.

I'll see you on the other side...

Stay Cool

-Sarah

current mood: artistic

(3 teardrops | feel my pain)

Sunday, February 8th, 2004
2:59 pm - Go Me, Its My Birthday, Go Me Its My Birthday!
It was birthday yesterday!!! I turned 18. My party was on Friday night and let me just say....wow.

Ok, so heres the run down on the party. It was awesome, I spent like all day preparing for it with my family, and Cam helped me decorate the hall a bit too. But wow, I cant believe how good it was...and seriously it made me realise just how incredible my friends really are. Ive always thought the world of my friends but dam....they really are the most incredible people in the world. Having them all there was the greatest present I could ever have been given...but the effort of these guys into my presents, and cards, and speeches and just generally, woh. I can't get over it, they are amazing.

Some special mentions...Brianna, things she said about me, woh, I couldnt believe it, I really dont think I deserved any of it, what anyone said or gave me, or wrote in a card or anything, Im the luckiest person in the world. Brianna and Zen gave me a Dashboard Confessionals ticket...WOOHOO!!!! A new Found Glory poster and Brianna made me the Finch necklace ive been begging for, for ages...and ofcours,e the most important, OH MY GOD, GUMMY BEARS! Thanks!! Melina...wow, Melina took the time and effort to make me a beautiful picture/collage with all these things in it that remind her of me. Its beautfiul and I love it. Thinking that she could not have given me any more, her, meagan and ashleigh also gave me a towel with my name on it, and a Forever Friends teddy bear Thankyou! :) Cammo! Cameron gave me a silver ring engraved with "Woo!! Go Sarah, Its Your Birthday!!" I was touched, its beautiful also!! and he even wrote an essay in my card, thanks Cammo! Zara went to the trouble of writing me a poem and drawing and decorating this amazing page with a verse that is I think, from the bible, its cool as, very thoughtful...Jeff's card was extremely sweet, I love cards, they are my favourite part of birthdays and christmas and stuff, I love cards heaps, thanks jeffro! Greg n Carmela got me a little remote control car!!! WOOHOO!! YOU GUYS ROCK, thanks guys...umm oh Trish, Mark, Craig and Melissa got me a beautiful engraved 18th photo album, fluffy dice, and an engraved wine glass....Jessica Young, Daniel, Craig, Josh, Gareth, Sheree and Mel, that group, gave me heaps of little stuff and money, umm, i got cool stuff from my parents too, umm, mary gave me a walk to remember on dvd, thanks mary!! man I cant remember what else I got, I got heaps fo stuff, so let me just say, THANKS HEAPS GUYS!!! YOU ROCK!!!! YOU MADE MY BIRTHDAY UNFORGETABLE AND I WILL BE FOREVER THANKFUL FOR EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!

The party went on to be a good social gathering, with some dancing by the usuals, and generally just a good time...one of the highlights of the night, What About Me, by Shannon Noll, was sung by all!! Another highlight, apart from the amazing speeches from Brianna, Jon, Daniel, Jay Jay, Melissa, and my Dad, was also the dance made up by Zara and Ashley for me, thanks guys...So that was my 18th Birthday party, loved it, enjoyed by all WOOHOO!!!

Yesterday I went to the movies with Brianna, Zen, Melina, and Cameron, we went to see Big Fish because I really really really really wanted to see that and it was my birthday!! woo!! It was an awesome movie, I loved it!!! I recommend all see it, good work Tim Burton! It was good to spend my birthday with some of my bestfriends, and I had them all there the night before!

Lastnight was Mat's 18th, that was cool too, Mat's a legend, love that guy, I had a go at him for not coming to my 18th, but he feels really bad, so sucked in!

Tomorrow I have to go and have a head scan, Im quite scared about that actually, but hey, its got to be done, so I guess Ill just put my head down and do it...wish me luck...Thanks again guys for everything...

Stay Cool

Sarah

current mood: loved

(3 teardrops | feel my pain)

Monday, February 2nd, 2004
4:20 pm - Two More Weeks, My Foot Is In The Door......
Wow, longtime no update. Mary had a go at me the other day so I thought I should probably write something in here. What should I write. Well Ive made a new friend, yes, yes I did. Her name is Amber and shes one of Allister's friends from Queensland. Shes really cool, we're into a lot of the same stuff and shes really intelligent. Shes an incredible artist too, Im actually quite intimidated by her artwork, so much better than anything Ive ever done. We decided that shes the Queensland me. Its weird because we both talk to each other like we've known each other forever, its as if we knew each other before and then one of us moved away. Strange, yet good, at least I have someone to talk too during the day. I talk to Jeff a lot during the day too, we played questions today. It was fun, normally when you play questions you get stupid questions like Favourite Colour? and stuff like that but when you play with me and Jeff, its bound to be interesting.

So I turn 18 this Saturday coming. Wow, the big 18, so everyone keeps saying, it doesnt really seem like that big of a deal to me actually. Just another year and no doubt I wont change much as I dont tend to do ever. It'll be good to see my friends again at my party though, be like a reunion for my grade.

On the 14th of February I leave to go to Coffs harbour for a week with my parents. Im kind of looking forward to that and kind of not, it should be good to get away though. Plus I get to spend a week at the beach, now that cant be bad at all.

Right now Im just kind of thinking about what I really want to do with my life. Im seriously considering doing Photography at Tafe, I love photography and have missed doing it in my senior years. Hey, Ive got 6 months to decide, I guess we'll see....

Stay Cool

Sarah

current mood: artistic

(9 teardrops | feel my pain)

Monday, December 29th, 2003
10:32 pm - But I Believe In You So Much..........
I can't remember what day I last updated, probably Saturday. So yesterday was Sunday and I went over to Brianna's in the morning, at about 10. We hung out, chilled, talked, the usual stuff, then at 2 I was supposed to go home, and she was going to her uncle's but I ended up going with them to keep Brianna amused. Then we were supposed to go to the movie marathon but my friends are dogg asses so we didnt go, so I ended up staying the night at Brianna's. It was cool, we were both pretty tired though so we fell asleep pretty early on. Woke up at about 7, had a weird ass dream that seemed extremely real. Watched tv in the morning then we came to my place at about 11:30, woke up all my friends up, and then went to pick up Jen and Greg, had lunch at Hungry Jacks and ran into Audrey. Went to Castle Tower's, it was packed out so we went to Parra, watched Lord Of The Rings, came back, dropped Brianna off, took jen home and spent like an hour just hanging out the front of Jen and Jay's place because as me and Greg were leaving Jay came out so we just hung out with them. Jess and Nathan drove past and waved, came back and wanted to chat, that was fun, I made Jay come with me, shocking. Got home at about 8:30pm. Im so tired. I know it seems like Brianna is my only friend, but thats ok. I like hanging out with her, and surprisingly enough she doesn't seem to get sick of me, or maybe Im her only friend.

I think I just bumming around at home tomorrow, not sure yet, see if anyone calls me and wants to do something. Havent seen or spoken to Melina in awhile.... Wednesday Im apparently going to the beach with Audrey and Jen, but we'll see, they'll probably dogg it, I kind of wanted my first beach trip this summer to be with Brianna, but ah well. Im going to Coff's Harbour in February and I am still trying to convince her to have a week off school and come with me, but I dont think its going too well.

Stay Cool

Sarah

current mood: content

(feel my pain)

Saturday, December 27th, 2003
3:32 pm - Anywhere But Here..........
Monday I spent chillin with Brianna, actually Monday and Tuesday were spent chillin with Brianna. Monday I gave her, her christmas present, I think she liked it. I got her Chicago on DVD and A puppy dog(stuffed). We just bummed around at my house and hers. Tuesday same thing really, watched some videos, old school cartoons..POKEMON WOO!! ROBIN HOOD!! WOO!!! Then we picked up Zenneth(Zen) from the station. Brianna gave me my christmas present, which was The Ataris-End Is Forever, I'd say its their best album, some coloured clay and another painting thing. Its crazy, I didnt think she actually paid any attention to me when I crap on about my art stuff.

Christmas was ok I guess. Christmas day was a bit of a drag. Got up at 6:30am, opened presents, my parents were still a little shakey with me. We drove to the hospital in...ummm...I forget the place, but its far, near Woollongong, to see my grandparents. My grandma's in hospital has been for awhile. She checked out my formal photos, then soon after fell asleep. She looked really bad, her eyes were all deep set and she looked really pale, it was a bit scary. My grandfather(known to me as Jack) spent most of the time talking to me and my dad. Hes pretty upset, understandably.

Boxing Day my cousins came down. That was awesome, I love those guys, we mucked around and went psycho all day. Swam a lot, played with new toys and I played guitar with my uncle(known to me as Peter) for awhile too, until me and Ella and Alex fell asleep on my dad's recliner lounge. Alex and Ella on top of me, one on either side. We got woken up about an hour later by my parents saying they were leaving. All in all it was a good day. Spent all afternoon/night on the phone to Brianna.

Today I went shopping with my parents and my brother, I was forced. I did buy The Ataris-Anywhere But Here album, I havent seen that anywhere else, and the Bodyjar DVD, and a stand for my guitar. My brother was being a pain in the ass, surprise surprise. Im in the mood to write, or draw, I think probably a bit of both, so Im off...

Stay Cool

Sarah

current mood: pensive

(feel my pain)

Friday, December 19th, 2003
7:14 pm - What Now?
Will my parents ever forgive me?

I had good hsc exam results....

English- Exam Mark-75, HSC Mark-75
IPT- Exam Mark-80, HSC Mark- 80
Legal Studies- HSC Mark- 84
Maths- Exam Mark- 83, HSC Mark-76
Ancient History- HSC Mark- 77

But my UAI dropped a lot, I got 73.4, sure I should be happy with that but that only gets me into my last preference unless I get the teaching scholarship Im going for.

My parents are devastated, I feel as if Im not good enough, more so than ever. I feel like shit. I cant eat, I havent eaten all day. I want to cry all the time. I feel like I disappointed everyone, they have no reason to be proud of me, no one does, at least thats the way they think. Ryan was such a great disappointment, now, so am I.

I can still do teaching, but it will take me a year more if I dont get the scholarship. I dont mind doing one extra year, Im not ready as it is. The way my mum looks at me, its like Ive shamed the family or something, im in the top 30% of the state, I dont know what else I can do.

My friends did really well, Im so proud of all of them, I knew they could do it, Im glad their hard work paid off.

Stay Cool

Sarah

current mood: crushed

(1 teardrop | feel my pain)

Wednesday, December 17th, 2003
5:01 pm - If You Want Me Back, You're Going To Have To Ask......
I actually feel pretty good after today. I went to Wonderland with Miss Grady and really Brianna and Zara, there were some little juniors there that worship Brianna but yeh I spent the day with Brianna and Zara. My HSC stayed on my mind all day, among other things but still it did lift my spirits a lot.

My marks become available tomorrow, my UAI on Friday. Im not looking until Friday so that I don't make any kind of assumptions as to what my UAI will be and then be disappointed. I was going to wait for the mail, but all my teachers want to know my marks, so Ill check them on Friday. I can't believe how nervous I am. I don't get stressed. I didn't during my HSC and now I can't stop thinking about it. I think its having a bad effect on me I have become a lot less talkative and a lot more...hmm not moody, but I guess just more thoughtful/contemplative/pensive.

I went to presentation night lastnight. Wow that was fun, way too much attention on me for my liking thankyou. I got really embarassed while I was up there, and just kind of looked at the floor. I mean what are you supposed to do when someone is reading out all this nice stuff about you, or all these great things you did for the school, which was all crap by the way, I really dont think I deserved that award, The Rotary Citizenship Award. Ash dared me to drop one of the plaques or at least pretend to drop one, but I said no, I wouldve done it at a school assembly but not with all those parents watching me and not while I was so embarassed.

I hope my life isnt over on Friday.......

Stay Cool

Sarah

current mood: restless

(feel my pain)

Monday, December 15th, 2003
6:45 pm - I Want To Hear You Sad..........
I was thinking a lot about Mel today, Mel Dolgario. Mainly because Steven brought it up and was asking me all these questions about it. I realised then that Ive never really spoken about it before. When it happened, I didnt really talk about it, I never have really faced it, I kind of ignored it and just let it effect me however. That wasnt the best idea because it had the worst effect on me, I dont think Ive ever been that bad before. I dont think anyone really knew how to deal with it, and deal with me and what I was going through. I didnt even know how to deal with it. I still dont. Maybe there is no way to deal with it. Maybe Im destined to feel this way forever. I guess when you lose such a big part of your life then thats the way it has to be. I mean 14 years and then nothing. How was I expected to deal with it? Am I expected to deal with it at all? I guess the pain will never go. I mean I think of her and I think of the amazing Mel, the good Mel who I had the best time with and that amazing laugh, that smile that made everyone around her happy. But then I think of the Mel who I let down, the Mel who made me realise I cant live my life in denial and the Mel that ultimately made me a better friend because of my mistake.

I guess there is no real way of dealing with it, you just have to keep going, even if she didnt.

Stay Cool

Sarah

current mood: lonely

(feel my pain)

Sunday, December 14th, 2003
6:32 pm - Jaded........
Well, well, well, I have a new livejournal, mary has been begging me for god knows how long to get a new one and I finally did. How good am I at all the background and editting and stuff ay? Pssshh Im not computer nerd, that would be Mary, the deal was I got a new lj and she did it for me! ahaha you nerd mary, thanks for the help anyway dude, I really couldnt have been bothered.

Well now I have 2 journals, I have a personal one also, that only like 1 person reads, so this one is going to be open to anyone and everyone that feels like reading any crap I choose to write in here. How good is the layout ay? Seriously, you reckon it suits me? My username is an idea I had for a band name, I like it, I thought of it because I was thinking about my birthday which is in February, and how it rains on my birthday every year, but how much I like that. It always rains in February and its beautiful, peaceful.

Ive been off for 2 months, and now Im waiting on my results of the HSC. Scary? Thats an understatement my friends. Im packing it. Thankgod for my friends who are here to keep me grounded and sane. 5 Days and they come out. 5 Days and my future and the rest of my life will be decided by 6 exams I took whilst under great pressure and while my father was in hospital. Thats fucked.

The reason my title is Jaded is because Im feeling quite Jaded right now, if you dont know what jaded means, get a dictionary you DUMBASS!

I can feel a strong offshore coming, what am I doing at home? I should be at the beach!!!

Stay Cool

Sarah

current mood: contemplative

(2 teardrops | feel my pain)


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